The Adventures of TK830
The Evil Token Droid from Planet X
TK830 joined TK715 at the debarkation area on Planet Earth, the current posting of the 501st Legion. Our transport was nowhere to be found, and to avoid being late to our first assignment we decided to take Marta, Atlanta's Subway system, to the encampment. When entering the station, we were ordered to gain permission from a Token Droid first. The Token Droid would give us a physical sign of his approval which we could then display to enter. This seemed a quaint but harmless religion, and we felt sorry for any religion which had been driven so literally underground, so we decided to play along. We moved to the Token Droid, and noticed that it game permission to anyone who bribed it. We had never seen corruption so openly displayed! However, in order to avoid enraging the local priest, who was already eyeing us, TK715 attempted to feed imperial credits to the Token Droid - which promptly spit them back out!
We asked the Token Droid why it wouldn't take Imperial Credits, but it simply ignored us. The conclusion was obvious. The droid was a rebel, and needed destroying. If the local populace complained, we'd simply have to destroy them. It would be for their own good.
Then this strange hermit woman approached us. She told us that this wasn't the token droid we were looking for. TK715 and I suddenly realized how right that was. This was a totally harmless token droid! How could we have thought it was a rebel droid? We explained our difficulty to this kindly woman, and she simply waved her hand over the droid...
and it dispensed credits!
She gave us our credits...
and suddenly TK830 was hit with a great suspicion. "Are you a Jedi?!" he asked, pulling his blaster. She waved her hand again, and suddenly I felt so silly for thinking that she could be a jedi. She was just trying to help us! She seemed to be slighly peeved that I would have pulled my blaster after she helped us though, so I highly suspected her when I suddenly got the worst wedgie of my life as I walked away...but she was across the room. She would have to have been a jedi to give me a wedgie from that far away - and since I knew she wasn't I didn't know who to suspect. So I settled for putting in a request for the Death Star to destroy the planet as soon as I leave. That'll show whoever gave me that wedgie.